Jakarta: Our Big Stinky City


"Home is where you feel at home and are treated well" - Dalai Lama

Jakarta is our home now and we love it. It may be polluted, it may smell, things may break, things may take a bizarrely long time to fix, BUT and this is a big but (not like my butt, it's small), Jakarta and Indonesia in general, is home to some of the kindest, most hard working, and welcoming people in the world. What stands out the most is the kindness. There is very little hate here. Indonesians are taught in schools from a very young age to manage their stress, to resolve conflicts without raising their voices. Any type of yelling or anger is out of place here, it is most unwelcome and unseemly. In my 6 months here, I have only seen one gentleman even raise his voice and he was not Indonesian. Everyone here calls each other mother, brother, sister and father out of respect. It is a truly beautiful culture. 

Albeit, it is a different world here with different customs and different ways of thinking. I decided to compile a list of my favorite differences. Enjoy!

TOP TEN INDONESIAN ENIGMAS
1.) 90% of local karaoke bars are actually brothels (You can still sing there though I think...if you want).
2.) "Rock, Paper, Scissors" is more commonly known as "Paper, Scissor, Stone."
3.) People cut in front of you in line all the time but you can always cut back.
4.) There are no crosswalks in Kelapa Gading (Human "Frogger" is kinda fun though)
5.) It's a predominately Muslim country, which means very little alcohol and it is way overpriced (Bintang!!)
6.) The same 5 songs are played everywhere (High and Dry, Someone Like You, Wild World, Wonderwall, and Moves Like Jagger)
7.) All prices are raised extremely high, but no worries, they are all 50%, even up to 90% off. It doesn't matter where you shop, everything is on sale...
8.) Cleaning women will clean the men's room while you are pooping (I once had a mop hit me repeatedly in the foot while I relieved myself) 
9.) Indonesians don't like to walk.
10.) Announcements in the supermarket are on extremely loud volume for some reason (It can be quite startling and at times, deafening) 



Jakarta is big!!!

Have you ever heard the phrase, "one in a million"? Well, there are 14 of them here. I suppose this means that there are fourteen very unique people here, or perhaps rather fourteen people who look and think just like me? Whatever it means, there are 14 million people in this city. With such a big population, you can imagine there is a lot to do. We have barely scratched the surface of what this metropolis offers, but here is a gander at some of our favorite spots thus far:


There are many fine places to visit in South Jakarta including this hookah lounge called the "Shisha Cafe". Andrea joined the belly dancers one night and it was quite entertaining. 


Central Jakarta boasts a gigantic mall called the Grand Indonesian. It is enormous and features an expensive bar with a spectacular view. I highly recommend a drink at the Skye Bar. 


Skye Bar view.


As we live in Kelapa Gading, the Mall of Kelapa Gading has been a frequent stop for us. Here, they have an outdoor seating area with several stages known as "La Piazza." They have a lovely Indian restaurant here called "Gujari's." It is amazing. We highly recommend the Bazil Chicken and the Saag Paneer. Damn good. 



Fatahillah Square, also known as "Old Batavia," is a great place to visit with a variety of museums and old colonial Dutch buildings to view. For only a few dollars, you can rent bicycles and take pictures with a silly hat on. It is so worth it, or is it???


If you are at Old Batavia, a visit to the Wayang Museum is a must. This strange museum offers its visitors a glimpse into the history of Javanese puppet making. This museum occupies a site that once belonged to a Dutch Church built in 1640.  There is also a lovely dining area in Old Batavia called, "Cafe Batavia." The food is okay, but the atmosphere is great!


There is a great little market right outside Old Batavia where you can purchase $4 Ray Bands...they might be knockoffs. They might inevitably damage your eyes with a lack of UV protection. But they look damn good. 


Foodwise, when in doubt, order Nasi Goreng. It literally translates to "Fried Rice." It is a safe bet as it is typically delicious everywhere you go. 


Another fun place to go is Ancol beach (pronounced ON-CHOLL). It is a manmade beach with plenty of family friendly restaurants and places to shop.


For only a dollar, you too can ride a filthy electronic dog thing in Ancol! 


Pea loves the beach! 


Traditional Balinese dancing right on Ancol Beach. 


Although it is a rare sight to ever see anyone exercising outside, there are many indoor facilities one can get a good work out at.


For spiritual enlightenment, there are many temples to visit. We joined our good friends Jessica and Muhit at this Sikh Temple in Central Jakarta. 



Michael Jackson is a big deal here. They can't stop until they get enough. This statue in Kelapa Gading was quite the thriller. Sorry, that was Bad. 


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